...
March 9
I am more and more convinced that the world isn't fair.
Out of the hundreds of different weapon types available in the Cloud Knights' arsenal, I picked the spear — the weapon most difficult to master. I'm convinced that my efforts in training are not inferior to anyone else's... But I just can't defeat Youshan, that tiny Vidyadhara who's only up to my chest in height. He's only lived for a little over sixty years, while I have been practicing with the spear for centuries, and even modified my body according to the Cloud Knights Martial Doctrine.
My instructor had said many times that "the sword requires nimbleness and speed, while the spear demands solidness and strength." Flying Swords controlled by one's qi require the dexterity of a fast reflex. Spears, on the other hand, necessitate power and control. Mitigating the explosive burst of recoil that comes from the spear tip entering the enemy's body also demands intense physical training from the wielder.
I understand that Xianzhou natives can never stand toe-to-toe with Foxians in terms of reflexes, but I never anticipated to lose to a Vidyadhara when it comes to strength.
I didn't lose to Youshan because of a lack of skill or training. It was purely due to the differences between our muscular structures. The Vidyadhara hatch in the Scalegorge Waterscape's ancient sea under intense water pressure and are always capable of swimming under such conditions, making their strength incompatible to us Xianzhou natives who have only ever lived on land.
I will never be able to overcome the vast differences between our genes even if I trained for centuries more. Such is my sad fate... Destined to never become the strongest.
...
April 2
An alchemist friend of mine from the Alchemy Commission recommended me a medicine called the Draught of Draconic Surge. He said taking this medicine can give me the power of dragons.
As if realizing how the medicine's name made me upset, he declared with a smile that he will give me this medicine for free if I can guess what ingredients went into it. He squinted and made faces, and tried to get me to make outrageous guesses.
How am I supposed to know what kind of tricks these alchemists are trying to pull? I didn't buy his medicine.
Draught of Draconic Surge... I hate that name. The Vidyadhara worship Long the dragon, and consider themselves descendants of the Aeon... Bah! I just can't help but think about Youshan as soon as I hear the word "dragon."
He's been promoted to a captain. Our instructor said he will recommend Youshan to take over his own job as a drill instructor. Youshan must be feeling great right now. He always feigns politeness when he sees me and addresses me as his senior frater, but I know he's trying to hide his sarcastic expression. I hate him so much.
I could hardly contain my urge to sink my spear tip into his body when we sparred. However, I couldn't do it. I couldn't beat Youshan.
I challenged Youshan three times during training and lost every single time. It wasn't a surprise. I sat for a long time alone under the sparring stage.
...
June
I did it! I can do it! I did it!
I beat Youshan!
The Draught of Draconic Surge is a miracle medicine! I admit, when I got the injection and the concoction entered my veins, I felt I was going to explode into pieces from a gale that stormed through my insides. But that discomfort was only momentary. After that, I suddenly felt the spear in my hand was as light as a needle. I twirled it a few times, and my peers couldn't even handle a single attack from me.
I became so fast and so strong! Hahaha! Even Youshan was no match for me!
Now that I look at him, his movements are as slow as an ant's. I can just stretch out my hand and press down on him, slowly grinding him into mince meat with the tip of my spear. What a pity that our instructor stopped our spar. He got a military doctor to do a check-up on me, but they didn't find out anything.
Hmph. Old timers are always sticklers for the rules. According to my friend, I can challenge even more people if I keep using this medicine!
I heard that there's a retainer in the Seat of Divine Foresight with great aptitude for the sword. Given time, maybe even he won't be able to stand up to me!
...
July
I became a disciple — a fellow of my brothers and sisters — thanks to my referrer.
I am already enlightened on a psychological level.
I browsed the records of the Cloud Knights Martial Doctrine and saw what only the transcended could do: "Scry Feathers on a Distant Bird," "Split Entire Mountains," "Revert Yin and Yang," and "Chase the Flowing Light"... Those aren't myths. In ancient times, the Xianzhou natives were able to attain such a state of being.
However, I am far from enlightened on a physical level.
In order to reach such extremes, I have to ingest the secret medicine and keep training harder.
It is not about the mind or mysteries. Everything is about the strength of the body — That's the enlightenment I received from the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus's way of immortality.
Only Merciful Medicus can help me to reach or even surpass that limit.
I got to know many brothers and sisters from all walks of the Xianzhou, and some are even Outworlders. We came together with divergent goals: Some came to save lives, some to take revenge on their enemies, some admire the master primus's charisma as a leader, and some are simply passionate adherents of Sanctus Medicus... or obsessed opponents of the Devilish Archer Author. And then there are people like me who seek enlightenment.
We support each other in making the medicines, hiding from the authorities, and worshiping Sanctus Medicus. None here question the others' convictions, and none mock the others' goals... This made my life in "civil society" look like a joke.
I have to admit that it's very painful to ingest these medicines. Just swallowing the disgusting fluids is already comparable to swallowing needles. They burn throughout my body, as if my internal organs are being boiled alive. And once I manage to push down the strong urge to throw it up, the raw agony of my muscles being separated from my skeleton comes next. Lastly, my bones would dash against each other like rocky boulders, as if they could shatter in the next second. Every one of their collisions sends a jolt straight to my brain, yet I cannot simply faint to evade this pain.
However, after a few hours of agony, the increase in my bodily capacities is very apparent.
If I interpret this pain as condensing hundreds and thousands of years' worth of training into a few hours, then it doesn't seem as unbearable anymore.
...
September
Strength became stronger. I became stronger.
Youshan can't defeat me. My tutor can't defeat me. I understand now.
Martial arts. Is about how sharp your claws are. How strong your body is.
Victory. Is being the survivor. That alone is martial virtue.
Martial virtue. Is the mercy of Sanctus Medicus.
Sanctus Medicus. Sanctus Medicus. Mercy of Sanctus Medicus.
The mercy of Sanctus Medicus, the Arbor's new growth. Disciples shall attain the way of immortality together.
The mercy of Sanctus Medicus, the Arbor's new growth. Disciples shall attain the way of immortality together.
The mercy of Sanctus Medicus, the Arbor's new growth. Disciples shall attain the way of immortality together.
The mercy of Sanctus Medicus, the Arbor's new growth. Disciples shall attain the way of immortality together.
The mercy of Sanctus Medicus, the Arbor's new growth. Disciples shall attain the way of immortality together.
The mercy of Sanctus Medicus, the Arbor's new growth. Disciples shall attain the way of immortality together.
*This line repeats for the next few pages*